James first experienced psychosis in January 1999. He began hearing ‘messages’ from people and from the television. 
“I thought that if anyone would stick by you it would be your family. I felt that they had deserted me.”
Following his diagnosis James found it difficult to accept that he was ill and blamed doctors and medication for his behaviour. “In the beginning, I stigmatised myself. It took me six months to come to terms with the fact that I had a mental health problem. During that time I didn’t talk to anyone about what was going on. I’d seen what happened when people I knew had experienced mental health problems. Other people treated them differently, not just the general public but health professionals too.”
James’s mum tried to convince him that he needed help. She was the first person who James turned to and she has been a constant source of support and understanding. He believes that without her support he probably wouldn’t be here today.
James feels that, following his first period in hospital, he was abandoned by all but a couple of his friends. Some friends called to say they would be in touch when he returned to Glasgow but they never actually rang. On one occasion, when James rang a friend to catch-up, his friend hung-up saying “You’ve got the wrong number”.
This reaction to his mental health problem was mirrored by his extended family. Despite living close-by, his relatives never visited James or his family. They even deliberately avoided James when they saw him in the local shopping centre. James was very surprised by the reaction, “I thought that if anyone would stick by you it would be your family. I felt that they had deserted me.”
Before James became unwell he remembers hearing that a person he knew well had been diagnosed with a mental health problem. He felt glad that it wasn’t him. He also recognises that prior to his own experience he might have stigmatised people with mental health problems.
After a year James’ medication changed and he was diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder (Manic Depression). Two years later he joined PMA (Positive Mental Attitudes), an anti-stigma project in Easterhouse which helped him to accept his mental health problem.